Vibing

Like most ladies I know, I have a vibrator. Because women like to have orgasms!


Sidenote: Why does nearly every guy I hook up with ask to see it? And why do they ask me to use it in front of them? What is so sexy about that? The appeal is somewhat lost on me-- probably because I don't think I'll ever be interested in watching a guy beat off.
Yes dude, I can power up and follow through all on my own, but I feel like we'll have a much better time if you participate, too. It's another story if you'd like to ASSIST in vibratey goodness. Sure, let's give that a try, why not? No, it's the idea that you'll just lie there and watch while I get myself to the finish line-- why am I doing all the work here when you're RIGHT THERE? What use is that penis of yours if you're not planning to STICK IT ALL UP IN ME?
Also, I tend to feel self-conscious if I have an audience, rather than a fellow participant. I have to, like, mentally psych myself up. I give myself a little pep talk: Soooo I'm gonna use my vibrator and he's gonna watch. Okay, then. Now. Okay. I'm gonna use my vibrator and he's gonna watch me and that's cool. Because he's excited about that and so that'll be exciting. Okay. Let's go. Here we go. Me. Vibrator. Him. Watch. Okay. Let's go. Okay.
And so then I DO it, and I'm someone who takes a certain amount of pride in my NEVER FAKING IT policy, but I'll tell ya what if I have to embellish what I'm feeling a little just to get my one woman show over with so we can get to the main event? So be it.


Anyhow, my vibrator is a hot pink, sparkly, girlish thing that is more cartooney than realistic. It has various ridges and whatnot for added sensation, but no actual lifelike qualities aside from its basic shape. That's exactly how I prefer it. I don't understand the appeal of those veiny, lumpy, flesh-toned dildos. They just make me wonder what happened to the rest of the poor, dismembered, dude.

I like to use my vibrator in the shower because the trickles of hot water provide extra stimulation on a greater expanse of my body's real estate, and therefore a nicer experience overall. So as a result from either the shower usage or from normal wear and tear, my vibrator has seen better days. It's been going downhill for some time now, but for the past few weeks it has needed new batteries each time I've used it.
The annoying part is that I'm usually already IN the shower before I decide to have me a little solo party, so then I have to quickly step out, tiptoe drippily over to the cabinet and back again, while trying not to rain all over my bathroom. Then I turn the vibrator on and... NOOOOOOO. Nothing. So then I have to decide if it's worth it to make the longer, drippier trip into my bedroom in search of batteries or if I should just give up. I usually end up going for it, because, like I said, women like to have orgasms.
This last time (today), my vibrator's normally peppy buzz was naught but a rather subdued hum, even with the fresh batteries. It worked for the purpose I needed it to, but I'm pretty sure that was, if not the last time, then very close.


I have a date tomorrow. I arranged for us to meet a block away from the sex toy shop so I can run a little errand beforehand, just in case. Women. They like to have orgasms. You heard it here first.